Funeral Joke
A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no.

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?"

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967."

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"

"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral.

Top 22 Signs That You are Suffering from Semester Burnout.
1. You hope for the Apocalypse because you just don't feel like doing your homework anymore.
2. You alphabetize your CD collection just so you have something else to do besides writing your 5 page paper.
3. zupi [it upit gomhrtd pm yjr etpmg lrud ejrm upi yu[r upit[s[rt smf fpmt ts;ovr oy nrvsidr upit bodopm od fpp n;ittrf/ (you put your fingers on the wrong keys when you write your paper and don't realize it because your vision is so blurred.)
4. You have a tough time deciding which class to skip so that you can get time to eat.
5. Small things like hearing Hootie and the Blowfish on the radio immediately make you want to kill someone.
6. Your teacher complains about something that you did wrong and you start laughing hysterically in her face for no apparent reason.
7. You are so tired that you answer the phone with "Hell".
8. Your Mom calls to ask how you've been and you scream "Get off my back bitch!
9. When your parents inquire about grades you sing the cookie monster song "'C' is for cookie and that's good enough for me..."
10. Your desk workspace area consists of a bar stool, blender, and "flasks" of various strong scented drinks.
11. You pray for a World War Three so you can get out of school for a while.
12. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire but go back to sleep because you just don't care anymore.
13. You have so much on your mind that you've forgotten how to pee.
14. You sleep more in class than you do in your own home.
15. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your book bag.
16. You think about blowing up the power plant so that you won't be able to have classes for at least a day.
17. Visions of the upcoming weekend help get you through Monday.
18. Did somebody mention contaminating the campus water supply?
19. Your answering machine message states: "YOU ARE BREAKING MY CONCENTRATION, NEVER CALL HERE AGAIN !"
20. You realize that nobody will hear your answering machine message because nobody calls you anymore because all your friends think that you are stuck up for never having time to talk to them.
21. You go through and re-organize all of your email folders, just so you don't have to study.
22. You think about how relaxing it would be if only you were in jail right now.

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